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DIVORCE TROUBLE
QUESTION: My wife and I are getting divorced, and we have a 10 yr. old and a 7 yr. old. We agreed that I would stay in our longtime home and that she would move somewhere else after I give her a check for half of the equity that we have built up over the years from the house we owned together. I recently learned that she has plans to use the money to buy a new home that’s only two blocks away. I asked for a divorce because I never want to see this woman again. Is there some way to prevent her from purchasing a house in the same neighborhood?
ANSWER: No, probably not. Your soon-to-be ex has the right to live anywhere she wants, and you have no authority to dictate who the seller sells the house to—your wife or a different buyer. If she can qualify to buy a house around the corner, she can buy it. That said, there are a number of reasons why you might want your ex-wife to live nearby. For starters, you could actually see her less then if she moved to a distant neighborhood; Instead of suffering through awkward pi-up and drop-off moments with her when it’s your time to visit with the kids, the children could simple walk over to your house when your visitation rights begin and then walk back when the time is over. This could reduce the chance ugly confrontations with your former spouse and save both of you time and gas money. Your children might benefit if your ex purchases a house nearby, because they would consistently be living in the same neighborhood that they grew up in, could keep going to the same schools and could maintain the same friendships that they probably started to build when they were toddlers. That’s important, because it can help the kids better cope with the fact that Mom and Dad are no longer together. And, from my own personal experience—I filed for divorce several years ago—having your ex live or work nearby can give you better opportunity to stay involved with your kids, even on those days when you don’t have custody. I have legal custody of my two children twice a week, but I still get to visit them everyday at our local school, Little League games or scout meetings—a blessing that I would not have is my ex lived far away and enrolled them in a school or club that’s many miles from my own home.
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